An un-Announcement

Remember that MoFo PMS I discussed in a post a few days ago? ("This will be my first non-birth-control-regulated period in over two years, and I think my body really wants to make it spectacular. I'm zitty, tired, bloated, moody, headachy, pee-ey, and perpetually hungry. I wish it would just come. PLEASE painful menstrual flow, JUST COME!") Yeah. Well. Turns out that there's ANOTHER reason a girl who just quit birth control might be zitty, tired, bloated, moody, headachy, pee-ey, and perpetually hungry. I'm just saying is all.

Because it would be bad to mention any such an occurrence in my life for another three months. And it would also be bad to have allowed such an occurrence to have occurred in my current fiscal situation. And I wouldn't ever be bad. Hm mm. Not me.

Ya know. Sometimes I've entertained the notion that pregnancy would be a Filler of Emptiness. That a baby would grow in your womb and fill, fill, fill you. But as I'm settling into the reality of my own next eight months, I'm realizing that's simply not true. A baby is not a filler. It's actually a squisher. It doesn't swell into your every empty orifice: it pushes all of your organs and all of their contingent cracks and crevices aside. It needs room for itself. And it doesn't care if that means you have to pee every fifteen minutes or if you feel nasty sick all day.

I guess maybe there is no filling. Or maybe the filling comes from me. Or maybe from God. Or maybe from potatoes. We shall see.